Monday, March 15, 2010

With all due respect...

I have nothing but respect for those who lay down their lives to protect ANY part of this great country of ours. They are true heros. However there are a FEW corrupt cops, politicians, etc that abuse the power bestowed upon them. Now I can only take the information here at face value and TRUST that the NDN has provided all the information it is allowed to release. EVERYONE deserves their day in court. Cop, Politician, civilian, etc. Corruption is everywhere people. This is not the first and this most certainly WILL NOT BE THE LAST!
I truly value the United States constitution. And love the fact that we live in a country where we do have civil rights. It took me a long time to respect authority and understand the laws of the land. I was a VERY misguided youth. I spent time in institutions etc. But there was a point in which I had to grow up and be a man. I'm NOT saying that these kids are STILL f-ups or anything of the sort. I do NOT know them. However the whole thing does sound strange, and deserves further research. I'm SICK AND TIRED of OUR HARD EARNED TAX DOLLARS paying the salaries of corrupt cops, politicians, banks, etc, and watch them (everyday mind you) walk away with a slap on the wrist. While a pot dealer or common user (I do NOT ADVOCATE marijuana use by the way)is treated like a "murderer." All this while "doctors" are prescribing large dosages of prescription drugs spreading the plague further and further, and this country plunges further and further into debt due to an unnecessary in Iraq, and on top of that bailing out large financial institutions, while the fat cats and corporate "big wigs" laugh it off with a cocktail somewhere in the Caribbean! I'm tired of it! Yet people like this keep their job even though the old "where there is smoke there is fire" trick proves there is an INFERNO corruption burning in our back yards friends and neighbors.OPEN YOUR EYES!What happened to this great country of ours? Are there that many complacent people working within our OWN LOCAL JUSTICE SYSTEM?!?! Everyone is presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Hell they told you that on Dragnet!All I am really saying (among the hundreds of other things I have listed in my manifesto)is investigate further. Those who carry guns and are not stable folk are DANGEROUS!!!! Does anyone here know, or remember a guy by the name of Nathan Gale? If you don't know who he is (or you're just curious) google the name. Gale was a diagnosed and DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED EX MARINE that took the lives of 5 people at the Allrosa Villa night club including the life of Darrell "Dimebag" Abbott. If you don't know who he is (I'm sorry ahem) Dime was one of the greatest guitarists, musicians, and human beings on the face of the planet, senselessly killed by a former Marine with severe mental issues.I am not saying Mr. Roysden is another Nathan Gale. But who knows a man better than his woman? Think about it people. And never stop talking. Complacency equals mediocrity, and a world subdued by power. NOT what our founding fathers would have wanted. Jefferson is on my side.I'm not saying flip cops the bird finger every time one passes by. Because that guy or gal might just be the man or woman that saves your life, or saves your child's life.I look forward to maybe meeting you someday. Stay safe, be cool, and let's try to keep people coming back to our community so it can thrive in prosperity. Not go into the proverbial pot.

Thanks. Take care.

Saturday, March 13, 2010


Usually when I am writing something like this with the ever so clever title "pathetic" I am usually refering to an old band mate, someone that has sued me, or more than likely someone I thought was a "friend" at one point but proved to eventually burn me.

No. Not today. This "brilliant" title refers to me. Yes the one and only.

It is no secret to my friends and family that I have been hooked on various substances,countless times, gotten sober, with various relapses. Believe me this is not really something I want to air publicly, OR have anyone else read. But I would be lying to say that because this is a "public blog" and No one should EVER have ANY trouble reading this what so ever. The truth is that it is more like an S.O.S..Maybe someone somewhere will red this and go "What the fuck is WRONG with this asshole?"

The truth is I have not accomplished ANYTHING with my life. I'm weak, a pathetic individual lower than the lowest you have EVER met in your life.

Currently it is 5:48. I am on a computer that I cannot afford to rent, in an apartment I can no longer afford. And also have some very, very, VERY fucking serious SERIOUS issue I have to deal with.

Dope sickness is not fun people. This is unlike any fucking nightmare you have ever faced in your entire lives. I am in pain. Serving time in a personal hell that I brought upon myself. The things that were interesting have become enemy.

Doing close to about 500 mg a DAY of A VERY SERIOUS opiate can ring any man to his knees. My mind EXTREMELY vulnerable. Barely able to type this out. Most people going through this require SERIOUS medical attention.

Sweating through multiple blankets. Nervousness, hot, cold, hot, cold. Masturbation pop off one nut in about 2 minutes flat. Pathetic. Rambling, crying UNCONTROLLABLE CRYING OOH GOD WHEN WILL TTHIS END?!!!???

Waiting until dawn to get more smokes. Watching videos of clean and strong people who have influenced me.

Embarrassed, ashamed, can't make a complete sentence without crying like a retarded child. Vomit. Smoke more. Ginger Ale. So much pain. Xanax. Out of commission. Will report more as I can...

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Her heart's a blood stained egg. 1200hrs

I have taken a few weeks off from recording. Which is not exactly true. I'll explain:

Things have been a little hectic at the office here. And while I am reluctant to get into any personal details I will just tell you this; This is probably one of the most serious things I have had to face head on. But I refused to put my tail between my legs and run off like a scared little boy. I like to think that every challenge that has come my way I have faced with confidence and integrity (now there is a word I rarely use).

I have someone in my life I care for tremendously. She has stood by me and I stand by her.

I am by myself right now. The first time in a while really. I am thinking clearly and I feel good for the most part.

That is all I can go into. I'll post more later.

Jason R. Donnelly